everything is the same — the collected wisdom of Felipe

Chapter I^*

The Artifact

Scholars believe this piece captures the subject mid-doctrine. Note the recurring figure: one man, several stances, zero positions.

Meme of Felipe titled 'The Enlightened Centrist', showing him in several poses with captions like 'I'm not left or right' and 'Both sides are equally bad'. — “The Enlightened Centrist”
Mixed media (group chat), 2026. Artist unknown.
On permanent loan from the boys. The subject was asked for consent and replied “it’s the same to me,” which counsel has advised us counts.

Chapter I^*

The Doctrine

A lifetime of rigorous philosophical inquiry, distilled into three tenets. The tenets are numbered identically, because numbering them differently would imply a difference.

Tenet I

On politics

Left, right, up, down. You’re arguing about directions on a wheel, man. The wheel spins. You’re on the wheel. The wheel doesn’t care.

Conclusion: it’s the same.

Tenet I

On life’s big decisions

Take the job. Don’t take the job. Move to the city. Stay home. In forty years you’re a guy on a porch with a nice drink either way.

Conclusion: it’s the same.

Tenet I

On your current crisis

Yes, yours. The one you were about to text him about at 1am. He has already reviewed the facts of your case, and his ruling is in.

Conclusion: it’ll be alright.

Career debate record: 847 entered · 0 won · 0 lost · 847 declared “the same thing, man”

Chapter I^*

The Company He Keeps

Further evidence, entered into the record. The philosophy does not hold up in isolation, and pleasingly, it does not have to.

Felipe and four friends posing together on a colorful boat in Xochimilco, Mexico City, with guacamole and drinks on the table in front of them. — The Boys
Xochimilco, Mexico City. A boat, some guacamole, a good day.
Felipe is the granddaddy of the group — statistically and spiritually. Asked whether the trip was worth it, he confirmed it was the same as staying home, then booked the next one.

Felipe standing with his partner outdoors on a sunny day. — Him & His Partner
The one debate he happily lost.
Asked how he knew, the Oracle broke character: “everything’s the same, but they’re better.” Filed as the sole exception on record.

Chapter I^*

Consult the Oracle

Ask Felipe anything. Career, love, existential dread, where to eat. The Oracle draws on the full depth and breadth of his one opinion.

“…”

— Felipe

The Oracle has now answered 11,347 questions. He has given 1 answer.

Chapter I^*

A Lifetime, One Thought

A complete intellectual biography.

day oneBorn. Immediately calm about it.
the early yearsEverything was the same.
schoolEverything was the same.
a financial crisis“It’ll be alright.” It eventually was. Point: Felipe.
an apocalypse or twoThe world was scheduled to end. It stayed the same instead.
the paperwork eraBecame a US citizen after years of paperwork. Moved back to Medellín almost immediately. Two countries. “Same, man.”
a global everythingEverything was, remarkably, still the same.
latelyEverything was the same.
nowGranddaddy of the group. Asked how it feels to be the elder: “same as being young.”